Before I realize it’s already been a whole month since my last post. I wasn’t quite aware of it until the spams start to rush in, curse you spammers!! Get a real job!!!
And as usual a lot has happened. School has been hectic and chaotic, me being my usual self as a procrastinator is already behind =.= I really need to get my ass moving, sorting all papers out etc ’cause before you know it the exams are due.
Last Saturday, I got the news that my grandmother on moms side has passed away, the new didn’t really strike me that day, it just didn’t get through some how. It was not until the next day at the church where people start asking questions about my grandma’s condition I suddenly realize the fact that she’s gone. I just burst into tears that day. Tho I wasn’t really close to her I felt really, really sad. My mother is inconsolable, I do not know if there is any way I could help her get over this sad thing. I wish I could do more than just talking to her, I could tell her all the jokes in the world, make her talk about all the nice things in the past but at the end of the day, she mourns. I obviously don’t expect anything else from her, I mean she was her mother. I think I’d be the same if one day my own mom passes away, let’s just hope it’s not anytime soon.
After all, one should do it’s own healing process, like I do mine. I just try to not think about it too much, because I think I’ll break down again. One might say I’m in denial, the truth is I’m just too darn scared to face it. Last time I at a funeral it was one of my former teacher. I got the news through email on my birthday, not exact a great day to get such a new, frankly, no day is great to get a new like that. My teacher was a witty man full of energy, he was only in his 50’s. One day, BAM! Without any warning his heart just gave up on him while he was cycling. I attended the ceremony a week later and I fainted, literally, there. It’s the lack of the oxygen to blame. There was countless people in sorrow and I left early because I just couldn’t take it anymore.
The situation with mom grandmother is even worse, she’s all the way in China and I could’t even be there when she was critical, when she may or may not needed me there, when people bury her. There’s so much I missed because I’m stuck here, halfway around the globe. T_T
I’m in no mood of putting pluggie link, just visite all the people on my blogroll, they’re all great folks. Go meet them!
